I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
