He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
