My sheets look like a crime scene.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
