Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
