Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
