he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
