i permit you to call me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
