I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
