R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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