Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
