question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
