I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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