When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
