Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
