We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize