I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
