but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
