sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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