she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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