Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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