Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
