I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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