Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
