I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
