yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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