My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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