the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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