I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
