I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
