This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
id be glad to
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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