He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
