WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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