I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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