That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize