Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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