drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
