how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
