I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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