I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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