yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's never too late to be topless.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
