i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize