bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
