i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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