I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
only if we run a train.
done.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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