adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
