your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
