Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
