If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
