her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
