My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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