So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
