Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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