Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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