Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
