Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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