Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
