it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
