You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
