We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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