Christians are straight up FREAKS
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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