Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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