I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
