i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize