Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
