Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
