It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
