I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
