If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
