I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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