If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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