After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
