I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize