What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The beer is more important than you right now.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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