The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
