we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Enjoy the penises
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Someone signed my nipple.
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