Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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