Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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